Novelist Lauren Jankowski sheds light
on asexuals in the arts with her blog and books
When her high school classmates talked about dating and sex, Lauren Jankowski realized she didn’t have the same desires. She hurried to her school’s library to research what she feared was wrong with her. She was immediately relieved when she saw one word on the computer screen: asexual, a person who does not experience sexual attraction.
In her research, Jankowski also found she identified with aromanticism, which is a lack of romantic attraction.
“So, I was like ‘Oh, I’m aromantic and asexual,’” Jankowski says. “‘I’m not a freak of nature, diseased, or anything.’”
Even though she had a name for her feelings, she still felt different from her peers, until she found people like her through the asexual community.
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Jankowski is now a published novelist writing about asexual characters and working with asexual artists. She describes herself as an “ace/aro feminist avenger”—abbreviations for asexual and aromantic.
She started the Tumblr site Asexual Artists to show ace people that they’re not alone and are more than their sexual orientation.
Jankowski says her creative process is mostly online, which she completes on her sleek, black and red laptop. Pins with black, purple and gray designs, which represent the flag for asexuality, adorn her messenger bag.
“There's nothing wrong with being an asexual artist,” Jankowski says. “I never hesitate to declare I'm asexual or display the ace flag. I'm out and proud.”
She sits with perfect posture, closely examines a document and shuffles through folders on her laptop.
The posts on Asexual Artists focus on a subject’s art as well as their sexual orientation and how those aspects of their life intersect. Posts include photos of the artist and their work to break up the questions Jankowski has asked them.
Jankowski said the interviews are important for the site to thrive and for artists to receive recognition. She wants her readers to see that the artists are proud to be who they are and doesn’t want people to be ashamed of how they feel.
“It’s okay to love people platonically and just have platonic relationships in your life,” Jankowski says. “It doesn’t mean you’re going to be any less fulfilled.”
Though Jankowski has interviewed more than 100 asexual artists for her site, asexuality is not represented as widely as she would like. She remembers once finding a list of books with asexual characters but found out none of the books were written by asexual-identifying authors, and that deeply troubled her.
“I did what I usually do and wrote a really angry post about how this is bullshit. We’re never represented; people only care about allosexuals,” she says, using the term for people who experience sexual attraction.
Jankowski admits that, at the time, she also couldn’t name any asexual authors. Which made her think back to college when she worked with an “a-phobic” writing mentor. Her mentor told her she wasn’t asexual, and that sexuality is just a “construct of patriarchal society.” She was also told that art is about passion and a love for life, which to her mentor included sex. If she didn’t want to have sex, then she couldn’t be an artist.
“That broke me. I thought it was never going to get better,” Jankowski says.
She says the thing that would have helped her during that time is knowing other artists like her.
Jankowski found four artists who created a blog called Pack of Aces, on which they discuss how asexuality and writing can intersect within their genres of fantasy, sci-fi and horror. They describe themselves as “an evil alliance of asexual speculative fiction authors” on the site.
Jankowski factors aromanticism as well as asexuality into her writing. Initially, when she began working with her writing mentor, she didn’t use the term asexual to identify herself or her characters. Instead, she created covert ace characters to represent her within her books.
Jankowski’s books focus on a photojournalist named Isis who is introduced to a secret world of shapeshifters after stumbling across and photographing a scene of a gruesome and strange murder.
“Alex is aromantic/asexual, and Isis is grey-a—kind of demi too. [I thought], ‘I just won’t use the word and throw in a shit ton of description, and he’ll never realize they’re ace,’” Jankowski says, referring to her writing mentor.
Jankowski has a group of characters that fall on the ace spectrum, which includes grey-asexuality and demisexuality. Grey-asexual individuals do
not typically experience sexual attraction. Demisexuals typically do not experience sexual attraction until they have strong emotional bond with someone.
For the four published novels Jankowski has as well as an upcoming fifth, she has commissioned photo illustrator Alyssa Turoczy to design covers to replace the ones Jankowski’s brother made for her. She also made the banner Jankowski brings to conventions.
Turoczy and Jankowski connected through the Asexual Artist Tumblr, and Turoczy decided she needed to be a part of it.
“I was immediately drawn to it, as obviously, I’m ace and an artist. It made me feel good about myself and the community.” Turoczy said, referring to being featured on the Asexual Artist site.
Jankowski was blown away by the artwork Turoczy created. She even showed her brother who is not interested much by art. He told her to get into contact with Turoczy immediately.
“Little over a month later, she emailed me again asking if I did commissions and said she’d be in the market soon for a book cover artist, and an ace one on top,” Turoczy says.
Turoczy says the process was rewarding and a great learning experience.
“We kept in touch, getting into the business part of the commission for a banner for one of her convention tables,” Turoczy says.
Jankowski knows there is still work to be done in regards to the acknowledgement of asexuals in getting asexuals the attention they deserve.
“There’s this idea that asexuality doesn’t exist or that it isn’t an ‘important’ issue,” Jankowski says.
In her writing, she has learned not to hide behind description and let her character flourish the way they’re meant to.
“These are the characters I wanted read when I was alone in the closet and scared,” Jankowski says. “These are the badass asexual heroes I wanted.”
She wants more ace authors to join the field to flood the market with aces.
“Total ace world denomination,” Jankowski says.
Story by Gracie Morales
Edited by Zoë Eitel
Lauren Jankowski
Orientation: Asexual
Pronouns: She/her
Jankowski's laptop bag is covered in ace-positive buttons with the colors of the asexual flag: purple, gray and black.
Lauren Jankowski writes novels that include characters on the asexual spectrum—asexual, gray-asexual, demisexual—to represent herself and other ace people. | Photos by Gracie Morales